Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist | 6 Kiki Place, Pacific Palisades, CA 90272 | 310.962.4330

Secret or Forgotten? – Why It’s Often Challenging to Identify Traumas

Many people go through life wondering why they struggle in certain areas but aren’t able to pinpoint any reason. Maybe it’s anxiety, chronic aches and pains, or an enduring sense of loneliness. People yearn for answers about their emotional and behavioral difficulties and sometimes end up blaming themselves for the way they are.

If this sounds familiar, you may have unidentified trauma. Identifying trauma is a challenge for several reasons.

Trauma Can Happen Early

Trauma sometimes occurs so early in childhood that people don’t realize it’s happening or remember it.

Children don’t have the cognitive skills and maturity to identify and call out trauma. Children are especially vulnerable to trauma because it can interfere with ongoing neural, social, and physical development.

There are many sources of childhood trauma, including parents who aren’t there for their kids emotionally or physically.

Other examples are parents who are verbally and physically abusive with each other or their children, divorce, natural disasters, and the death of closed loved ones.

Some children eventually heal and recover with love and time. Yet many silently carry the effects of trauma into adulthood.

Not Recognizing Trauma

Adults even experience trauma and may not realize it.

Accidents, severe illnesses, and difficult intimate relationships are common causes of unidentified trauma. Many falsely assume that trauma only results from great violence, such as being in a war or being sexually assaulted. This is not true in all cases.

Identifying Secret or Forgotten Trauma

Even if one doesn’t realize they’ve experienced trauma, there are clues that can point them toward answers.

Emotional Clues

Several emotional responses develop in response to trauma, no matter when it happened.

These emotions express themselves as different anxieties, such as social or generalized anxiety. It could also be someone having a hard time feeling close to other people.

Depression and self-doubt are also common reactions, as is difficulty concentrating, insomnia, nightmares that interfere with restful sleep patterns.

Behavioral Clues

For many people, trauma reveals itself in behaviors.

Children who’ve gone through trauma may have difficulties in school, “act up”, struggle in social situations, or turn to substances. Down the line, this can lead to problems to both finding and maintaining employment and relationship struggles.

Sadly, the person themselves and many of the adults around them do not understand that trauma is the root cause.

Physical Clues

Secret or forgotten trauma often manifests in physical ways because our bodies are intricately connected with our minds. The experiences that shape us psychologically can play out in our bodies and can even lead to chronic aches or digestive issues that have no identifiable cause.

When a professional finds no physical cause, individuals end up feeling as though their healthcare providers don’t take them seriously and wonder if it’s all in their head. With trauma, it’s not.

Finding Healing

Fortunately, once someone identifies forgotten trauma, it is possible to find healing.

Working with a therapist is important if you believe unidentified trauma has been affecting you. A therapist can guide you through the emotional journey of healing and can help you make connections between any physiological manifestations and your past trauma.

As you learn to be more in touch with your body, you’ll be able to move forward.

If you suspect secret or forgotten trauma is affecting you, please read more about trauma therapy and reach out to my office for a consultation.

 

 



Your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start. - Nido Qubein